El Quinto Pino

401 W24th Street

I think that El Quinto Pino has made the back pages of nymag every week now since it opened late last year. This even though "small plate" wine bars are the growing trend. As a grazer, I assume that any tapas and wine bar with continued coverage must be good. And so I went. The space was pretty (albeit a bit loud) and the wine was unique, but the food? What food?

The plates were so small, I'd call them not just "small plates" but "very teeny tiny small plates" and "overpriced very teeny tiny small plates" at that. Judging from the regular menu of items all about $15 and under, we assumed the bill wouldn't be too big, but somehow we ended up feeling ripped off. Perhaps it was because we ordered 2 out of 4 dishes off the specials menu. Then again, we had to. There's hardly anything on the regular menu to eat: olives? eggplant and honey? anchovies? Even though I'm The Grazer, I gazed at the menu and wondered what am I to graze on? They offer no salads, no veggies, no soups. So I ordered the only vegetarian dish on the menu to start: garbanzo stew with spinach. It was decent, simple, but somewhat lacking in flavor. And about the size of my palm - and I have small hands...

The rest of our dishes were the same - small and unremarkable. About eight small shrimp, three lobster "paella" (small fried balls of risotto with droplets of lobster), and six mussels. Not nearly enough food for two people - even though one of us was just grazing.

- The Grazer